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Thank Heavens for public transportation. It makes my life a whole lot easier.
It's dawned on me, as it did to Machado de Assis, in 4th of July 1883, to list a few clauses, five to be precise, that aim to bring order out of the chaos that the excess of democracy brings to buses
Art I - On the Sad
Sad, depressed folks should not talk to their friend, the one that managed to grab a seat next to me, about matters arising from their quiet and sleepy little lives often laden with petty gossip. After all, there is always the chance that the batteries in my "Walkman" are not charged enough.
Art II - On the Hunky and Good-looking Guys
Handsome boys, it behooves me to warn you that it is forbidden for you to inch closer and touch my thighs which are yin in nature with yours which are strong and energetic, more yang, when you get a place near me, lest you raise incongruous behavior with the collective setting of the vehicle. I'm telling you!
Art III - On the Ill-humored
Will the grumpy ones please remain in their beds and do you not dare leave your pestilential cocoons to spread poison and thereby polluting the prana that I use to stay alive.
Art IV - On the Old and Sassy
It would be wise and for everyone's good that old folks stay in their rocking chairs in their yards, telling stories to their five-year-old grandchildren, reminiscing about what they could have done with their lives and did not do, rather than coming to take my favorite seat at seven o'clock in the morning. Have a heart! Banks open at ten.
Art V - On the Drivers and Collectors
To these it is vetoed the exchange of information relevant to their profession. It comes with a typical, unswallowable verbiage for people who think they are the queens of the black coconut brittle. Due to the distance from the driver's seat to where the collector sits, we, the passengers, will be left wondering why we are subjected to such drivel. Voice carries. Keep my mind free and my ears safe.
The other five articles are left to the reader's imagination which, I'm sure, has as much essence as does mine.
Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis (1838-1908).
Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis (Portuguese pronunciation: [ʒoaˈkĩ maˈɾiɐ maˈʃadu dʒi aˈsis]), often known as Machado de Assis, Machado, or Bruxo do Cosme Velho (June 21, 1839, Rio de Janeiro—September 29, 1908, Rio de Janeiro), was a Brazilian novelist, poet,playwright and short story writer. He is widely regarded as the greatest writer of Brazilian literature. However, he did not gain widespread popularity outside Brazil in his own lifetime.
Machado's works had a great influence on Brazilian literary schools of the late 19th century and 20th century. José Saramago, Carlos Fuentes, Susan Sontag and Harold Bloom are among his admirers and Bloom calls him "the supreme black literary artist to date."